Just How Gullible Do They Think You Are?

I've seen my share of pathetic ploys to create store traffic through the use of important-sounding esoteric headlines ("Emergency Inventory Abatement"), but the one I received in this afternoon's mail takes the prize:
REMERCHANDISING RELINQUISHMENT

Bad enough it's billed as a "Private Sale," seeing as how it's addressed "Resident" and coded ECRWSS (USPS abbreviation for "Enhanced Carrier Route Walking Sort Saturation") - in other words, everyone in town is on the mailing list. Reminds me of the furniture store that once advertised on its readerboard sign, "PRIVATE SALE - PUBLIC INVITED."

The second paragraph reads: "In the very near future we will be announcing the decision to conduct a REMERCHANDISING RELINQUISHMENT. In order to complete this enormous task, we must empty the building for new incoming merchandise."

The insult, of course, is that the advertiser is counting on the naivete or gullibility of x-number of recipients to lead them to believe that this is a rare opportunity to take advantage of the advertiser's vulnerable position.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.